This is the beginning. This is something simple and something to just say "I am here". I am still in California and as of now I am sitting on the floor of my room procrastinating the packing that I need to finish. I still have technically a day and half to finish this, but I know myself and if I continue to put it off, I will probably end up not doing it at all. Come midnight tomorrow night and I'm scrambling to find my toothbrush to fit into my already too-full suitcase.
It's strange to sit here and think of all the things that have happened in this month that has gone by too quickly.
I remember on Christmas Eve sitting in my room and thinking that it would probably never be like this again. I wasn't being pessimistic, it was just a strange truth. Never in my life had I grown-up knowing nothing but all my family around me at all times. I realized Jonathan, for the next few years, it essentially going to be growing up as an only child. I'll be in and out, but Michael will probably never live at home again. What would happen Christmas 2010? Who knows where any of us will be? Will Michael even be home for Christmas or be anywhere in port? Where will I be? California, Hawaii, somewhere far away? Will Jonathan have to spend Christmas alone? I doubt it. But these are the things I was thinking of that made me feel not only extremely grown-up, but sad. I ended up crying. But I guess that's what I do, I cry. Haha.
And now I sit here with a half-packed suitcase in front of me and think that I have to go back to Hawaii. Strange...I make it sound like someone is forcing me back to paradise. It's just, I wish I could take everyone here and ship them there. Fold them up and put them in my suitcase and take them with me wherever I go. Than I wouldn't feel so bad about leaving. I know that my lease is up in July and we may as well be back before August 1st, but August seems far away now. I mean, it's only January. Oh well, time will fly I know it.
I hope that his "blog" will be a new thing for me. A new way to keep in-touch with those that are far away in that mysterious place that islanders like to call "the mainland". Sorry to have filled this blog with a "woe is me" tone, but hey look! Now I feel better :)
Back to the last few days here in Cal-if-for-ni-a.
To you, with aloha,
Bree
