We're breaking up...

Dear San Francisco,

I am breaking up with you.

No, no, no! It's not your fault. Really, it's me. I really enjoyed my job, it was great being able to work with all the fish and the public. I really liked talking about sea bass and sharks and sea lions and stuff. You were always kind of the "dream" city, and we did it...we had fun, right? I did enjoy all those good times we had with that big Christmas tree and all those pretty lights. I'll never forget your foghorns or the way you look all bundled up in the mist early in the morning. And boy...you DO look good at night! But you see, it's just not going to work out.

I live in San Jose, your good neighbor, and I really enjoy San Jose. But the two hour drive to and from you with all your traffic is annoying. Your one-way streets, all of 3 gas stations, high parking prices and unfriendly commuter routes really started to rub me the wrong way. I smiled, and bared it, because I thought maybe things would change. But you never did San Francisco, you never did. It's great you won the World Series, but the congestion you caused along The Embarcadero in order to celebrate was SLIGHTLY ridiculous. Look, we had some great times, the Golden Gate is nice, I really love the Bay Bridge...but...I have to be honest...there's someone else.

I'm getting back together with my ex, Oahu. Oahu's great! Oahu has sunny beaches and clear blue water and tropical fish. I can wear a bathing suit. A BATHING SUIT, SAN FRANCISCO! Do you even know what that is?? Oahu makes me HAPPY! Oahu has rain forests and DAMN you should see Waikiki during the summer...MMMM! Big waves, good weather and did I tell you? Oahu is going to support me. Money San Francisco, money! Do you remember that little thing you promised but never pulled through on? No part-time bs. Full-time. Education. Sea Life Park!

So...we can still be friends right? I'll visit. I mean, I think you're a great vacation spot. But...right now, this just isn't going to work out.

Alright, going to go pack, I got a hot date on the 21st with Oahu. We're going snorkeling.

Love always,

Bree