Abundance

I'm feeling overly emotional tonight. Ten bucks says mother nature may be to blame for this one. I feel like crying for no particular reason but to cry. I find myself trying to create a reason in my head. Kelly and I may need to bring a box of emergency lady accessories on our trip.

I leave on Sunday for northern California. I keep saying it's to San Fransisco but I don't know if that's where I'm going. I'm going all over the place. To Pismo, San Simeon, Ragged Point, Big Sur, Vallejo, Napa, San Fran, all the way down the central valley back to Santa Clarita. I'm looking forward to it a lot. And than 7 days later I'm going to drive to Park Moabi on the Colorado River for four days...it's the wanderlust syndrome, I told you.

The part I'm looking forward to the most is being able to talk. And talk. And talk. And the endless hours of driving being absorbed by talking. I want to talk until my jaw hurts and my throat is raw and the air in my car turns into a Scrabble board. I want to soak up the news and gossip with my old friends and I want seep out all the emotions and things in me until I drip with nothing but divine happiness. I want to spit the words out of my mouth and devour the words into my ears and be wrung out and hung out to dry when its all said and done. And guess what? I will. Oh I will. And everyone better be ready to hear it.

And everyone better be ready for some crazy amounts of pictures. And more pictures. And pictures of pictures and pictures of me and pictures of my friends and pictures of landmarks and pictures of food and pictures of driving and pictures of signs and pictures of trees and pictures of wine and laughs and smiles and views and pictures of pictures of pictures.

WHEW. What an abundance tonight is :)

Bree

I've got a symbol in my driveway

For some odd reason, I am not sure what my picture I have set up above this ^^^ represents about myself. And in a way, I don't like what I think I am thinking it is representing. It can be one of those glass-half-empty glass-half-full pictures. Am I running away from my problems, or towards them? What's the symbolic meaning behind it? Is life not meant to be symbolic and is it merely the human imagination that is convincing us that everything has to have a rhyme and a reason?

Well. I believe everything happens for a reason.

And I have said this before and I will say it again until I turn blue in the face. Everything happens for a reason and the signs are pointing you in the right directions. You just have to loose your GPS and start following your heart. GPS will tell you turn by turn how to get there, but you're missing all the great sights along the way. Your destination is ahead on your left, but on your right is Chance, Fate, Opportunity, Daring, Fun, Adventure and I even heard they've been known to throw in their good friends Love and Friendship. I'm learning this the hard way. Or maybe the right way.

Blah blah blah.

Good night world.

Bree

Mindfullness Mindlessness

Everyone keeps telling me to write. Write Bree, write about this, write about that, write when you're happy, write when you're sad, write when you're right, write when you're wrong. I find I write only when something is such a deep, raw emotion that I feel like if I DON'T write it down, it'll just rub me until I bleed from the inside out. I write when I feel like I HAVE to get the word's out because otherwise they'll be like my own form of toxic poison. How crude and awful of me to say that my own words and thoughts are like poison. I apologize.

But everyone is their own worst enemy right?

The amount of change that has overcome me in the past month since I've moved home is a bit ridiculous. I'm not sure if sharing every mundane and obscurely huge detail of my private life is 100% appropriate at this time, but I do think that everything in life happens for a reason. This has been proven to me time and time again..and in the past few days...time and time again...again. I just have to remember what I already know, even if the reminder is coming from a least-suspected source...in the form of a question...answering my own question...questioning my own answer...being referred to again that everything happens for a reason.

Sorry for the riddled tongue twister. I'm just merely blabbing. Trying to help a slightly-uninspired mind find a little inspiration.

The other night, something really beautiful and magical DID happen between my dear friend Kelly, my brother Jonathan, my little cousin Noah and I. We got into a deep, heartfelt intellectual conversation. It involved the universe and life and light and soul and body and mind. Topics that I think we were too afraid to approach on our own, but as the circle of love opened up around us we let everything out. Even Noah, who's only 10, proved that he's an older soul that I think any of us could have guessed. But just the spill of emotions and new ideas was so beautiful, the energy in the room literally changed. It was a tangible, electrical, amazing energy that you could almost ALMOST hold in your hands. To be surrounded by such a diverse group of long-time family and friends and know that we can share anything and say anything without being judged was really wonderful. We had trust in each other and created an amazing bond between all of us, just by merely talking.

I don't know where I'm going with this...I guess if I can give you a moral of my ramblings it would be just to go out into the world tomorrow with an open mind. Everyone, every situation, every single little thing and person and event that comes across your path happens for a reason. A reason that many of us won't know until years down the road. I'm thankful for the amazing people that are in my life right now, and for the amazing people that used to be in my life, because deep-down, I've learned invaluable life lessons from all of you that I could never have learned on my own.

Be open minded. Ok? Ok.

Good night.

Bree