With all that has been happening in the past week I started to really count my blessings closer to home. Watching the wave of water destroy towns in Japan on the news was absolutely heart-wrenching. There is nothing that stirs human emotion more than watching helplessly as people flee for their lives and knowing there is little to nothing you can do.
As if by deja-vu, Tyler and I stayed glued to the tv all night, listening to the eerie scream of the tsunami sirens blaring in the distance. The tangible energy that you feel when your entire world (or at least as you know it) waits on baited breath to see if we will be swept away by a wave, is something that I can't describe. Everyone is quiet, everyone is nervous, the geckos stop chirping, the wing blows a little quieter, everything is in a suspended pause of anxiety. All eyes were turned toward the east, all ears were focused on Hawaii. Waiting to hear if the waves would devastate our shores.
We, on Oahu, dodged another bullet. Maui and Big Island didn't get as lucky, but compared to what happened to Japan we were incredibly blessed. Tyler and I got called into work the following morning, and all I could think of was the mass amount of displaced people that were still here in Honolulu and couldn't get home to Japan. My coworker was supposed to leave tomorrow for Tokyo to see her family, but canceled her trip. She cries whenever she talks about the quake and gets teary when she sees signs and shirts that say "Pray for Japan". A trainer at my job, Hiro, his sister was missing from her home in the tsunami hit area, but was found in critical condition in a hospital. The "Aloha for Japan" fund here is incredible, most have Japanese ancestory and almost everyone is in contact with Japanese people everyday. The aloha spilling out to help our Japanese friends and neighbors is beautiful.
So in a time like this, I can't complain about my job. I do, but it is definitely humbling to realize I am way better off than some. I have friends and family that are safe and healthy in California and all over the world. I wake up to a beautiful sunrise and fall asleep to a beautiful sunset every night. I come home to the most amazing man in the world, we get to live in a beautiful island paradise. I have enough money to buy food, I have a car to get around and I am blessed with good health. It's still hard to see the images and photographs coming out of the devastated area, knowing that you are so blessed over here in Hawaii and can't really do much...
So when you brag and boast, whine or complain...that's ok. We have a right to be proud of our accomplishments, we can feel disappointment when we strive to achieve our best and fall short. It is what makes us human to experience these kinds of emotions and pushes us to continue to become the best people we can be. But once our moments of selfish feelings are over, we need to take a minute to look at others in the world and their situations. Those that are better off can do what we can to help others. And we need take a step back and look at our lives and realize that we are very lucky, and we should be in awe of the lives we have been granted.
Namaste.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Coming to peace with a desk job
I never really knew what I was going to be "when I grow up". And all of a sudden, I'm grown up. I have people working under me, my name in training manuals appears under "coordinator" and "direct supervisor". No one ever prepared me or gave me the introductory course to the "real world". I'm not going to lie, it is strangely overwhelming, and yet, freeing.
My first day on the job i was handed a 5 inch thick training, shown my cubicle and said good luck. My manager left two weeks later. She was great, she showed me everything she could in the short period of time. Her final email put me as the "go to" for the department. Suddenly, I was being pounded with questions, phone-calls, emails, concerns, applications, ideas, planning...eek! Wait! Pump the breaks! What did I just get myself into?! I accepted a job as an Education Associate. I understood I would be taking on the volunteer coordinator position as well, but wow!
All of my previous experience in education was hands-on and interactions for people. I was always relaying scientific information to a non-scientific audience. All of a sudden, I was putting all of my knowledge into docents and volunteers and hoping they can take my knowledge out into the park. I give lectures, and when I can find the time, venture into the park for 1:1 education...but the majority of my duties are making schedules, phone calls, and reservations. Strange...
It is neat to be bale to take stuff that I am genuinely interested in and concerned about, study it, learn it and pass it on to others to venture out int the world and do the "dirty" work. Than I go back to my desk and start devouring new environmental impacts and knowledge to regurgitated onto my docents.
As much as I do enjoy this, there were (and sometimes are) concerns I had to find peace with. I love the ocean and I truly believe that the key to conservation is knowledge of the impacts we can have on our environments. I just assumed I would be putting that knowledge into people's heads by field work, on-site, hands-on experiences. But alas, no. Than I started my internship at Dolphin Quest and assumed maybe rehabilitation was the way to go. I had a bit of a morally rough time/infatuation with the idea of training marine mammals under human care. I, based on my opinions and experiences, have formatted conclusions in regards to marine mammals (and all animals) under human care. These opinions are neither yay or nay and are based on a case-by-case basis. I will keep this opinions to myself.
So where I have come to peace with y desk job? The fact that from a financial standpoint, I am lucky to have a steady, full-time, well-paid position. I make more than some friends, not as much as others. Quite honestly, not as much as I feel I should be making...but I get to make a real impact on people in education them on marine stewardship issues that mean a lot to me. I have the freedom to develop curriculum to enhance the State of Hawaii's future generation of marine conservationists. I live in Hawaii...if that isn't reason enough.
Coming from someone who has done almost EVERYTHING in the marine science world..I really do enjoy education. I have done research, training, lab work, field work, school work, outreach, education, husbandry, you know it. But if I can inspire ONE person to pursue a career in marine stewardship like one person once did in me, than I have made a difference. I will be investing, in my own way, in the future of our oceans. I can help ensure a healthy and thriving ecosystem for future generations. In my own way, I AM making a difference.
This is my passion. The ocean. All of the seas. All of the inhabitants and chemical properties that it comprises. I love the biological, geological, paleological, chemical, dynamical fluid combination working as one entity to sustain all of life. If I am full-filling a purpose in my life, the ocean will always have a connection. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. No matter how direct or round-about.
Go dive. Go swim. Clean your beach. Think sustainably. Everything we do effects the ocean. WE can make a difference, one person, one action, one inspiration at a time.
"How wrong it is to call this planet Earth, when so clearly it is OCEAN".
Namaste.
My first day on the job i was handed a 5 inch thick training, shown my cubicle and said good luck. My manager left two weeks later. She was great, she showed me everything she could in the short period of time. Her final email put me as the "go to" for the department. Suddenly, I was being pounded with questions, phone-calls, emails, concerns, applications, ideas, planning...eek! Wait! Pump the breaks! What did I just get myself into?! I accepted a job as an Education Associate. I understood I would be taking on the volunteer coordinator position as well, but wow!
All of my previous experience in education was hands-on and interactions for people. I was always relaying scientific information to a non-scientific audience. All of a sudden, I was putting all of my knowledge into docents and volunteers and hoping they can take my knowledge out into the park. I give lectures, and when I can find the time, venture into the park for 1:1 education...but the majority of my duties are making schedules, phone calls, and reservations. Strange...
It is neat to be bale to take stuff that I am genuinely interested in and concerned about, study it, learn it and pass it on to others to venture out int the world and do the "dirty" work. Than I go back to my desk and start devouring new environmental impacts and knowledge to regurgitated onto my docents.
As much as I do enjoy this, there were (and sometimes are) concerns I had to find peace with. I love the ocean and I truly believe that the key to conservation is knowledge of the impacts we can have on our environments. I just assumed I would be putting that knowledge into people's heads by field work, on-site, hands-on experiences. But alas, no. Than I started my internship at Dolphin Quest and assumed maybe rehabilitation was the way to go. I had a bit of a morally rough time/infatuation with the idea of training marine mammals under human care. I, based on my opinions and experiences, have formatted conclusions in regards to marine mammals (and all animals) under human care. These opinions are neither yay or nay and are based on a case-by-case basis. I will keep this opinions to myself.
So where I have come to peace with y desk job? The fact that from a financial standpoint, I am lucky to have a steady, full-time, well-paid position. I make more than some friends, not as much as others. Quite honestly, not as much as I feel I should be making...but I get to make a real impact on people in education them on marine stewardship issues that mean a lot to me. I have the freedom to develop curriculum to enhance the State of Hawaii's future generation of marine conservationists. I live in Hawaii...if that isn't reason enough.
Coming from someone who has done almost EVERYTHING in the marine science world..I really do enjoy education. I have done research, training, lab work, field work, school work, outreach, education, husbandry, you know it. But if I can inspire ONE person to pursue a career in marine stewardship like one person once did in me, than I have made a difference. I will be investing, in my own way, in the future of our oceans. I can help ensure a healthy and thriving ecosystem for future generations. In my own way, I AM making a difference.
This is my passion. The ocean. All of the seas. All of the inhabitants and chemical properties that it comprises. I love the biological, geological, paleological, chemical, dynamical fluid combination working as one entity to sustain all of life. If I am full-filling a purpose in my life, the ocean will always have a connection. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. No matter how direct or round-about.
Go dive. Go swim. Clean your beach. Think sustainably. Everything we do effects the ocean. WE can make a difference, one person, one action, one inspiration at a time.
"How wrong it is to call this planet Earth, when so clearly it is OCEAN".
Namaste.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
One full year later
So much can change in a year.
March 5, 2010 I was in Cape May, New Jersey waiting to see my brother graduate from bootcamp. I remember being nervous and not really knowing why. I felt anxious, I hadn't slept in days. I had flown from Oahu to Los Angeles, spent the night in LA and boarded an early flight to Philadelphia the morning of the 5th. We drove from Philly to New Jersey and spent the night in Cape May. I was jet-lagged, cold and feeling a little out of place. But something felt RIGHT.
I was in the middle of a horrible and volatile breakup, stuck somewhere where I couldn't see the beauty of my life in front of me. I was still living in Waikiki but dreaming about coming home because I couldn't stand my living situation. I had been writing religiously to my brother in Cape May because I felt it was a way to escape from my reality. A way to encourage someone who was following their dreams. I would tell him about funny things that were happening, things that were bothering me. He didn't have enough time to write me back, but I didn't mind. It was like my problems were going out to the universe, being read by someone, and were no longer my burden to bear. Being in Cape May to watch my brother accomplish his dreams meant SO much for me.
As the Coasties started to march in, I remember the crowd screaming and cheering. I saw my mom and Paige start to cry. One graduate, one graduate, one graduate, MICHAEL! There he was, proud and tall and walking like a man. I was so happy! Everyone looked the same, there were blurs of faces and muffled sobs and cheers. Than there was this boy. I watched him walk by and sat down quietly. Who knew that my life was about to change.
I was introduced to him in the parking lot of the hotel we were staying in. I shoved my way out of the rental car like a creep and made up an excuse of changing my shoes to talk to him. He was so handsome (looked like he needed a sandwich) but I was infatuated. In the five minutes I stalled putting on a different pair of shoes I learned he was stationed in San Francisco and was a reservist. When I walked away, I walked away grinning from ear to ear. This totally random stranger in the most random parking lot in the most random town in New Jersey, left me feeling like my life wasn't as bad as I thought it was at the time.
We talked on facebook while he was in Virginia and he visited me when I moved back to California. He spent days with my family and was introduced to them all as a trial-by-fire brunch (literally the WHOLE family...extended and all!) and passed the "Disneyland test". He was deployed to Alabama and once again our relationship was spent more in different time zones than face to face. I was so in love with this boy I was completely ok with doing a long distance relationship. Luckily for us, that didn't end up happening. I got a job in San Francisco and moved in in October.
When you know, you know. We lived together up through January, than I accepted a job in Honolulu. I moved to Oahu January 24 and spent another three grueling weeks away from the love of my life. When I picked him up in the airport in Honolulu, I was so nervous I was shaking and peed at LEAST five times...like a nervous Chihuahua. But there he was, more handsome than ever and I knew again, that I was the luckiest girl in the world.
I've come back to a place that I left on bad terms, ready to start over again. I am very successful now on Oahu and enjoying it more than I did the two previous years I was here. I feel like THIS is where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. THIS is the person I am supposed to be with. You live and you learn and we all go through rough seas to get to the calm water. I have unfinished karma here on this island, there is a reason I am here. And there is a reason that he is here with me.
One full year ago I would not believe anyone that would tell me that I would be this happy right now. But one full year later, I am blissfully happy and I wish this happiness upon everyone in the world. Tyler Scurti, I love you. You mean everything to me and I am so happy that I climbed my way out of that car in Jersey.
Life is beautiful and it's crazy and everything happens for a reason. You just have to open yourself up to the signs.
:)
March 5, 2010 I was in Cape May, New Jersey waiting to see my brother graduate from bootcamp. I remember being nervous and not really knowing why. I felt anxious, I hadn't slept in days. I had flown from Oahu to Los Angeles, spent the night in LA and boarded an early flight to Philadelphia the morning of the 5th. We drove from Philly to New Jersey and spent the night in Cape May. I was jet-lagged, cold and feeling a little out of place. But something felt RIGHT.
I was in the middle of a horrible and volatile breakup, stuck somewhere where I couldn't see the beauty of my life in front of me. I was still living in Waikiki but dreaming about coming home because I couldn't stand my living situation. I had been writing religiously to my brother in Cape May because I felt it was a way to escape from my reality. A way to encourage someone who was following their dreams. I would tell him about funny things that were happening, things that were bothering me. He didn't have enough time to write me back, but I didn't mind. It was like my problems were going out to the universe, being read by someone, and were no longer my burden to bear. Being in Cape May to watch my brother accomplish his dreams meant SO much for me.
As the Coasties started to march in, I remember the crowd screaming and cheering. I saw my mom and Paige start to cry. One graduate, one graduate, one graduate, MICHAEL! There he was, proud and tall and walking like a man. I was so happy! Everyone looked the same, there were blurs of faces and muffled sobs and cheers. Than there was this boy. I watched him walk by and sat down quietly. Who knew that my life was about to change.
I was introduced to him in the parking lot of the hotel we were staying in. I shoved my way out of the rental car like a creep and made up an excuse of changing my shoes to talk to him. He was so handsome (looked like he needed a sandwich) but I was infatuated. In the five minutes I stalled putting on a different pair of shoes I learned he was stationed in San Francisco and was a reservist. When I walked away, I walked away grinning from ear to ear. This totally random stranger in the most random parking lot in the most random town in New Jersey, left me feeling like my life wasn't as bad as I thought it was at the time.
We talked on facebook while he was in Virginia and he visited me when I moved back to California. He spent days with my family and was introduced to them all as a trial-by-fire brunch (literally the WHOLE family...extended and all!) and passed the "Disneyland test". He was deployed to Alabama and once again our relationship was spent more in different time zones than face to face. I was so in love with this boy I was completely ok with doing a long distance relationship. Luckily for us, that didn't end up happening. I got a job in San Francisco and moved in in October.
When you know, you know. We lived together up through January, than I accepted a job in Honolulu. I moved to Oahu January 24 and spent another three grueling weeks away from the love of my life. When I picked him up in the airport in Honolulu, I was so nervous I was shaking and peed at LEAST five times...like a nervous Chihuahua. But there he was, more handsome than ever and I knew again, that I was the luckiest girl in the world.
I've come back to a place that I left on bad terms, ready to start over again. I am very successful now on Oahu and enjoying it more than I did the two previous years I was here. I feel like THIS is where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. THIS is the person I am supposed to be with. You live and you learn and we all go through rough seas to get to the calm water. I have unfinished karma here on this island, there is a reason I am here. And there is a reason that he is here with me.
One full year ago I would not believe anyone that would tell me that I would be this happy right now. But one full year later, I am blissfully happy and I wish this happiness upon everyone in the world. Tyler Scurti, I love you. You mean everything to me and I am so happy that I climbed my way out of that car in Jersey.
Life is beautiful and it's crazy and everything happens for a reason. You just have to open yourself up to the signs.
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)